The Moment
In my sixth month with the company, Betty called me into her office and asked me to close the door. Which only meant, that either I was in trouble or something major was going down that impacted me, somehow! There was no point in trying to figure out what I had done wrong as it could be anything with Betty. She could be tiresome at times and such a nit-picker!
The minute the door shut, she started, "Louise, it has come to my attention that you are spending more and more time assisting Macy, so much so, that the tasks I have given you, are still incomplete and more often than I would like, you are answering phones from the copy room rather than at your desk. I have to say, that this is not acceptable at all.” Not even wanting to hear what I had to say for myself, she continued in her annoying monotone. “Now this is what you are going to do and I will then review your performance at the end of the month."
I semi-tuned out Betty's droning voice. I knew I was not behind on any tasks, which made me think that she was not meeting her KPI's and she was passing the buck. Nodding here and there and making the appropriate sounds saw me through the one-sided meeting. Knowing that Betty was watching where I went after the meeting, I went back to my desk. There was no point in reacting and giving in to my anger. It was just not worth it! I stayed back that night and made sure I told Betty that it was to catch up on the work so that there was no backlog for her. Slightly mollified, she left for the day but not before admonishing me not to stay back too late as I wouldn't get paid overtime!
To be honest, there wasn't much to do and without the constant ringing of the phones and interruptions of other colleagues, I managed to get a fair bit done but then my concentration was broken when Macy walked out.
"What are you still doing here?" she asked not sounding like her normal cool and collected self.
"Catching up on work that Betty needs completed ASAP. Are you done for the day?"
"Yes, I have to go pick Mum up from the airport and it looks like everyone else has gone home, however Evan is still here and...."
As Macy's voice trailed off to silence, I looked up to see that she had stopped near the elevators and turned around to face me. She looked conflicted like she wanted to say something that she shouldn't.
"And?" I prompted, hoping that she would cave and spill what was bothering her.
"Well...” she hesitated briefly, “You can't disturb Evan. Like I said, he is still here."
"Macy, common! Something is troubling you and it’s about Evan isn't it?"
Macy just stood there and looked at me, looking even more conflicted. I had never seen her like this. Must be something big that she was so worried about! I didn't think she would tell me but when her face relaxed and she took a step forward, I held my breath. This was it. She was going to bend her rules and tell me something. And I just knew it was about Evan, the man that I salivated over and wanted to be with.
"Louise, what I am about to tell you must not be repeated. Do you understand what I am saying?"
The urgency and demand in her voice made me quickly nod my head to show her that I understood.
"I don't usually say anything about Evan to anyone, but I am worried about him. Worried, that he will lock up his emotions and become unbearable to work with. He is already so short tempered and working all hours. So what I am about to say, must not be repeated to anyone. Do you understand?"
"Yes, of course. Macy. You are scaring me a bit. What is the matter?" I prompted, mentally willing her to say what she wanted before someone or something interrupted the moment. This was about Evan! I needed to know what was going on. Was he hurting? I wanted to ask so many questions, but kept quiet as Macy took a step closer to me.
Taking a deep breath, Macy briefly closed her eyes, before blurting out "Its Evan. As you know he is somewhat married to his work and his wife does not take kindly to it. She has made his life unbearable the last few months with her demands. He has been trying to please her, but no matter what he does or purchase, she is not appeased and her demands have been outrageous. A few weeks back, he thought to surprise her, by heading home early so as to spend the rest of the day with her and found her in bed with someone else."
I gasped in shock and that seemed to encourage her to go on. "Yes, yes, shocking isn't it. He is such a decent man and to be betrayed in such a manner is terrible. He already has things in motion and he is being utterly ruthless about severing all ties and making sure that she gets nothing from him. I know he has been unhappy for a while and has had a few meetings with his lawyers but this has pushed him and given him the leverage, I guess he was looking for.”
“That is terrible, how terribly horrible for him. Did he say anything else to you?”
“That’s the thing, Louise. He hasn’t spoken to me about this. I found out accidentally when I overheard him talking to his lawyers and he asked me to do all this paperwork for him. I shouldn’t even be telling you all this.” Macy was now wringing her hands in despair.
“Hey. Hey. It’s ok.” I consoled her. ”You are upset and needed to talk to someone so don’t beat yourself up over it. I won’t tell anyone. You can trust me. You know that. Don’t you?”
"I know. I am sorry. Look I have to go pick up my mum from the airport. I hate to have just dumped this on you and walk away, but today was an absolute shocker of a day and I guess I needed to let it out. But I do have to go now, I am already running late. Talk tomorrow?"
"Sure. You take it easy and don't stress."
Turning back towards the elevators, Macy replied over her shoulder, "I will try not to... just don't bother Evan if you happen to see him. Bye for now."
"Night!" I called out as she stepped into the waiting elevator.
For a moment, I just sat there staring into space while I processed what little Macy had relayed. I had a lot to take in. He was hurting and that made me sick inside. I needed to figure out what my next course of action would be but I didn't have to wonder for long as the sound of approaching footsteps in the now quiet building broke my concentration. As I looked up toward the sound, Evan came into view and he stopped where he was when he saw me. He looked tired and I had this strong urge to go and hug him.
"What are you still doing here? Everyone gone home?" he asked looking around and running his hand through his already tousled hair.
"Yes, I am about to head home… Umm would you like me to do anything for you before I head out?"
Bringing his gaze back to me, he came closer not stopping till he was at my desk. Still saying nothing, he looked down at me in contemplative silence. I stood still. Barely breathing. Afraid to make a sound. It felt like we were having a moment. Well that's what it felt to me. I still had the urge to touch him, comfort him and it took all I had to hold that urge back. After what felt like an age, he requested some file and for it to be brought to him. With that, he turned around and stalked back to his office.
Digging up the file did not take long. I took a moment to settle my nerves before I walked towards his office. He had left the door open and was sprawled back in his chair with his long legs stretched out. He was in deep thought and at my soft knock, he slightly shifted in his chair so that he was now fully facing me. Not saying anything, he gestured me to come in and held out his hand for the file. I handed it over and turned to head out.
As I crossed the threshold, he finally spoke in that deep voice of his, "Order me something to eat. Macy has the details on her desk. Just tell them it’s my usual and if you are not in a rush, I would appreciate it if you could join me as I need some research done which unfortunately can't wait till tomorrow."
Turning slightly, I nodded in acknowledgement. I didn't think I could have spoken if my very life dependant on it. As I left his office, I could still feel his gaze on me. The minute I was out of sight, I gulped in some much needed oxygen. I found the number, placed the order and called down to let security know that I was expecting food to be delivered.
I didn't go straight back to Evan deciding instead to wrap up what I had been working on and tidy up my area, so Betty did not have another chance to find something wrong with me. The food was delivered fairly quickly. Taking the plated food with me, I headed back to his office and found him standing in front of his window looking out at the city below.
Turning when he heard me, he strode over and took the plates from me and walked to the sitting area located near the window. Gesturing to the couch, he placed the food on the small table before he strode to the discrete mini bar he had in his office.
"Drink?"
"Umm, yes please. Water will be great, thanks."
Pulling out a bottle of water from the fridge, he poured himself a glass of red wine, grabbed a glass and came back to me
Mumbling my thanks, I took the bottle and glass from him. He was broody and didn't seem to want to talk. I got the feeling that he just wanted company and I kept silent in acknowledgement of his silent request. We ate in silence until the clatter of his cutlery broke it. I stopped eating and finally looked at him. His head was thrown back and his eyes were closed. He looked so weary and so alone.
Not knowing what to do, I stood, picked up our plates and took them to the kitchen close by. I didn't think he would eat any more and frankly speaking neither could I. Standing at the door, I hesitated to re-enter the room thinking that he might like to be left alone now.
"Don't go", he whispered.
With those words, I walked back to the couch. Paused and then turned and walked over to him. Needing to know, I finally asked "Are you ok?"
At first I thought he would not answer me. His head was still thrown back and his eyes were still closed. After letting out a deep breath, he opened his eyes and looked straight at me, the pain visible for just a tiny moment. "Not really but I will be ok", he finally said as he closed his eyes again.
I needed to touch him. To comfort him. But I still hesitated. His whole body language screamed leave me alone. Irrespective of this overwhelming urge to touch him, I again honoured his silent wish. Needing to do something, I started to move away but stopped short when I his hand grabbed my wrist. The feeling that surged through me was intense. Such was the intensity, that I could not stop the shiver that ran through me and I briefly closed my eyes to get back some of my control before I caved in to my urges. Urges that involved curling up in his lap and having my wicked way with him.
Feeling his gaze on my face, I looked down into his eyes which had darkened and seemed burn with an intensity that spoke to my heart. Maintaining eye contact and still holding my hand, he slowly stood up. His hand slowly, ever so slowly slid up my arm, my neck and came to a rest on my cheek. Cupping my face, he softly caressed my cheek with his thumb. Once. Twice. Thrice. The gentle stroking felt hypnotic. I felt myself lean forward and again reigned in the impulse to reach out and touch him. The sudden loss of his touch made me feel light headed and it was only when he stepped away, I realised that I had been holding my breath.
"Go home Louise.” His voice barely audible. “The research can wait till tomorrow."
Unable to speak, I nodded and willed my unsteady feet to move leaving him alone but he was not far from my thoughts.
Copyright Tia J. Lee 2014
All Rights Reserved.
No comments:
Post a Comment